Well I started to write this awhile ago but I totally forgot about it. It just seemed like a good time to post it. This was written in August.
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Expectations are just so un-called for and yet I know that I can't live with out them. Sometimes my expectations are way too high. This summer I put up on a pedestal my social life thinking that that was what would save my summer of working and doing math homework but here I am still doing math and sitting at work and I haven't made plans with friends since I can't remember. It's not that I thought that I was going to spend all my time goofing off but I didn't think that by the end of summer I would have been dreading school so much because I never really got a break from it. Every day, I get up and do math or go to work. After work I do math until I'm so tired that I can't function and then I go back to bed. I'm not even getting that far in math. Adleast it doesn't feel like I'm getting far. I don't know if maybe I would have been more content if I hadn't expected to spend so much time doing things with friends but that seems like the only reasonable answer right now.
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Expectations are just so un-called for and yet I know that I can't live with out them. Sometimes my expectations are way too high. This summer I put up on a pedestal my social life thinking that that was what would save my summer of working and doing math homework but here I am still doing math and sitting at work and I haven't made plans with friends since I can't remember. It's not that I thought that I was going to spend all my time goofing off but I didn't think that by the end of summer I would have been dreading school so much because I never really got a break from it. Every day, I get up and do math or go to work. After work I do math until I'm so tired that I can't function and then I go back to bed. I'm not even getting that far in math. Adleast it doesn't feel like I'm getting far. I don't know if maybe I would have been more content if I hadn't expected to spend so much time doing things with friends but that seems like the only reasonable answer right now.
Other-times I feel like I push my self down. I could be reaching high to achieve great things but I spend or should I say waste my time. I spend hours on facebook or laying around reading books. I could be working for great causes but I don't know I just fail. I just hope that maybe eventually I can figure it all out. It won't be so frustrating to do the right thing, but who am I kidding, that's life!
